Michele Neff Hernandez

Michele Neff Hernandez is the founder and executive director of the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation. SSLF is a non-profit organization committed to providing resources and support to people grieving the loss of a loved one. In addition to her work with the foundation, Michele inspires people as a motivational speaker and freelance writer. Through speaking to service groups, faith communities, Universities and hosting community seminars she has shared her thoughts on loss and hope with a variety of audiences. She is the creator of the Widow Match program. Since the death of her husband in 2005, she has made reaching out to other widows her personal mission. Ms. Hernandez’s various projects have been featured in the Ventura County Star, the Simi Valley Acorn, and the Riverside County Record. She is a contributing author to several websites and is chronicling the interviews she has done with widows across the country in a book called, The Healing Power of the Widow’s Bond. Currently, she is planning a national widowhood conference scheduled for the summer of 2009. Ms. Hernandez is a resident of Simi Valley, California where she lives and laughs with her three amazing children. An avid runner and outdoor enthusiast, she actively encourages others to embrace the life we are given.

Articles:

The Weight of Well Wishes

Every once in awhile I am able to see myself through another person’s eyes; sort of like looking up and seeing an image in a mirror, and then realizing the face that is reflected there is your own. The observations from these unguarded moments usually provide some serious food for thought. Recently I watched the movie Brothers. I will leave out the movie review, but here is a brief synopsis: An excellent family man who is in the military goes back for a second tour of duty and ends up being captured. His family thinks he is dead, and grieves […]

Where to Start

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Family Practices Teamwork After Husband/Father Dies

Our family received an amazing, unexpected Christmas gift of a very cool new TV. We went about shifting, rebuilding, figuring out cable connections, and placing the new gadget in the place of our old big screen. Somehow amidst the chaos, the daunting task of moving the old machine out to the garage ended up happening when the kids and I were home alone. As I stood looking at the old television, I remembered the day Phil and I brought it home. He was so excited. We bought the new big screen as a part of the house remodel that we […]

Widows: Let Love Win Out over Fear

Five years ago when my husband died in a cycling accident, the last thing on my mind was finding a new man to love. Horrified by the unexpected jump from wife to widow, I struggled to regain both my sense of self and my will to live. When I first was able to entertain the thought of marrying again, I would be rendered mute when asked to utter the phrase, “till death do us part.” Those four words mean something completely different to me now that I know what parting actually feels like. As my heart slowly recovered and love […]

In Widowhood, What I Believe

Before my husband Phil died, I could have easily created a long list of my personal beliefs. This list would have included ideas about both the tangible and the intangible; broad concepts and specific ideals; God and mortal beings. There would probably even have been a mention of death and eternity…but only in the abstract because my beliefs about death were untested until August 31, 2005. The day I lost my husband was the same day that theory became reality, and faith became more than just a concept to which I paid lip service. Grief is the ultimate test of […]

The Weight of Wishing

Every once in awhile, I am able to see myself through another person’s eyes. It’s sort of like looking up and seeing an image in a mirror, and then realizing the face that is reflected there is your own. The observations from these unguarded moments usually provide some serious food for thought. Recently I went to see the movie Brothers. I will leave out the movie review, but will tell you that I would probably not have watched this show had I not been with a friend who really wanted to see the film. Brief synopsis: An excellent family man who […]

Cleaning the ‘Emotional Closet’ After a Loss

We put all kinds of things inside of closets. There are things you expect to find inside this storage space: sweaters, dresses, and shoes. Then there are the other things that you can’t find a place for somewhere else in the house: old yearbooks, memory boxes, or last year’s tax returns. Perhaps there are mothballs, spider webs, or the odd price tag dropped from a purchased item. Closets are useful partly because you can shut the doors to conceal any messiness that might be found inside. I suppose that is why we use the concept of closets when describing emotional […]

A Meditation for Those Facing the First Anniversary of a Loss

As you approach the first anniversary of losing the amazing person that shared your life, I have a vision I would like to share with you. I am imagining you wearing a heavily laden backpack. This pack is filled with the searing pain of separation, the desperate fear of the unknown, the intense longing for the touch of someone who loves you, the emerging hope you have for the future, and a new love for today. You are surrounded by the beauty of the Arizona countryside, heading up the North side of the Grand Canyon. The landscape is breath-taking, sometimes […]

First Anniversary…

As you approach the first anniversary of losing the amazing person that shared your life, your love, your joys, and your sorrows; I have a vision I would liketo share with you…I am imagining you wearing a heavily laden backpack. This pack is filled with the searing pain of separation, the desperate fear of the unknown, the intense longing for the touch of someone who loves you, the emerging hope you have for the future, and a new love for today. You are surrounded by the beauty of the Arizona countryside, heading up the North sideof the Grand Canyon. The […]

Lifting the Veil: Gloom Ends at a Wedding

By Michele Neff Hernandez — The death of someone instrumental in our lives instantly changes our view of the world. Ordinary things are suddenly fraught with meaning, and insignificant moments become unexpectedly precious. After my husband Phil’s death I remember thinking that grief swooped in and stole my rose-colored glasses, leaving me with a pair of dark shades instead. I was quite certain that rose was no longer my color. This darker world view made every life celebration bittersweet…or sometimes just plain bitter. Movies became minefields, attending weddings became tortuous, walking down the street beside hand-holding couples made me feel […]

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